Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Q5 Motel

 In Ulsan, we had planned to stay at our usual love motel, The Windmill, but when we pulled into the parking lot, we were surprised to see that it was no more.  In it's place was the newer and hipper looking Q5 Motel.  
 Look at the Q5 shine! 

The standard lady-of-the-night trading/business cards

Waiting for the elevator

6F

The rooms in The Windmill, although log cabin themed, were pretty basic and bare.  That wasn't the case at the Q5, however.  They were bright, high-tech and beautiful!

Pimp my throne!

All toilet seats need ground F/X!

Bathtubs are a luxury in Korea!
[Read:  A shower that doesn't spray over your toilet is a luxury in Korea.]

We assumed the packet on the edge of the bath was going to be bubble bath, but Korea fooled us, as usual.  It was actually just purple food coloring and glitter.  It didn't make a single bubble.  The stuff wasn't even scented either...completely pointless. 

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Haesindang Park...

WARNING!
OVERSIZED PENIS PICS ABOUND IN THIS POST
 MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ALL AUDIENCES




Samcheok's Haesindang Penis Park
The stuff of legends, literally.


The Legend of Aebawi & Haesindong
          as retold by us

Once upon a time, way way back in Korea's history, in the prosperous fishing village of Samcheok, there lived a young couple that was happy and in love.  They had been sweethearts for nearly as many years as they'd been alive, and as soon as they were of age, the were wed.  Shortly after their ceremony, but before they were able to consummate the marriage, a terrible accident befell the couple.

The blushing bride was standing on a rock along the coast, some distance from her new husband, reflecting on her wedding day and fantasizing about her wedding night to come, when the weather suddenly turned ugly.  Black clouds and strong winds appeared in an instant.  The terrible storm caused the ocean to churn violently and before she was able to reach safety, a large wave crashed over the rock and swept her out to sea.  Helpless to rescue his new bride, the husband watched in horror as the love of his life was pulled away from him and taken to her death.  He was devastated. 

The next day, in an effort to overcome the grief and return to normalcy, he got into his boat and headed out to sea for a day of fishing.  When he returned later that evening, without having had a single nibble all day, he was even more distraught.  In talking with other fishermen in the village, he realized that they too hadn't had any luck that day either.  This unfavorable fishing streak continued for the next few days.  Slowly, those fish-less days turned into weeks, and then months.  By this time, many of the villagers had exhausted their food stocks and were beginning to starve.

Dread and deprivation hung over the people of Samcheok like an ominous cloud.  Many in the village attributed the famine to the tortured soul of the sad, young bride snatched from them on her wedding day.  They felt that the upset, virginal ghost was scaring the fish away, thus destroying life in the village.  Being unable to resurrect the woman and put the situation right, the simple fishermen and their families were left with two options:  slowly starve to death or carve tree-trunks into giant peckers and send them out to sea...

Duh?

As you'd guess, the villagers of Samcheok chose the latter option.  They quickly went to work whittling.  Once enough trees were shaped into shlongs, the villagers held a ceremony and sent their wooden willies drifting in the virginal spirit's direction praying their efforts would appease the troubled ghost.

Nervous and hopeful, the fishermen set out the next morning.  Although it wasn't a great haul, a few fish were caught, which was more than they'd caught in months and more than enough to raise everyone's spirits.  Their dong-floating scheme pleased the tormented soul [sexually, we presume], because day after day, the fishermen caught more and more and the village quickly returned to it's prosperous state and has been bringing in record numbers ever since. 

Today, the rock from which the young bride was swept to sea is now known as Aebawi* and the place where the villagers ceremoniously released their penile projectiles is called Haeshindang*. To honor the memory of the couple and the pride and ingenuity of those villagers so long ago, the fine people of Samcheok erected Haeshindang Park and began an annual penis festival and carving contest, though sadly short lived.   

*Whether those are the couples' names or they are just the names given to the locations is unclear.

What a prick!

Dick, Judy, Jess & Johnson

No doubt she's biting her bottom lip...

This one is incredible!


C'mon ride the train, hey ride it, woo woo!

Cock Cannon


Apparently, this is the natural expression you make when hugging a huge weiner

This lady thought we were a riot!

Captivated by the legend
(Most likely imagining the wee-wee they would have carved)

Classy

Self-timers in the carving contest area

Check out that scrotal supporting action...clearly a professional
Her mom must be proud!

Hilltop reach around

This picture turned out so much better than planned!  It looks like Judy is pooping a penis shaped turd at Jessica, and everyone's thrilled about it...

The best senior portrait, EVER

"O" Face


Majestic

Warning:  Godzilla-sized trouser snakes offer
less traction than one would assume.

"...so, how'd you break your neck?
Well, I slipped and fell while dismounting from a giant fiberglass erection.  You know...
...oh yeah, I've heard about those."




The park had a steady stream of old, intoxicated Koreans.
They were pretty hilarious.

Dangling wind chime dongs

Monday, July 25, 2011

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Itaewon, Seoul's 'foreigner' district, isn't really our scene.  It's the area of the city with the highest concentration of non-Asian emigrants, which translates into an abundance of foreign goods and foods not found anywhere else in the country.  That aspect of Itaewon is awesome.  Whenever we find ourselves there, we’re generally shopping for groceries not sold elsewhere or grabbing a non-Korean bite to eat.  Of course, as a result of the abundance of foreign products and foods, Itaewon also has an abundance of foreigners, which is the thing we dislike about the area.  Either the foreigners in Itaewon are extra embarrassing or our snobbery toward foreigners we don't know or like is at it's height due to the higher numbers, we don't know, but don't really like the place.

That said, Itaewon is a sight to see, so we added it to an afternoon's itinerary.  

After a snack, a few drinks, and a little people watching along Itaewon's main drag, we headed to one of our favorite restaurants for a repeat meal of grilled shellfish in a closer, and much more Korean neighborhood.


Ahhh, among the minority again!


Pirate 99 조개구이
Delicious grilled goodness from the sea!

Playing the soju cap flicking game


The grill master!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

In the street just outside of the restaurant, two young(ish) businessmen were going at it big time (not in the sexy way).  Sadly, we missed the good parts of the fight.  By the time we joined the spectator crowd, the fighters' friends had already stepped in and were attempting to break it up.  Had we left the restaurant 5 or so minutes earlier, we would have been witness to much more action, and probably had some of our questions answered.  The biggest unanswered question we had, was how one of the man's slacks ripped along the entire inseam of one leg.  How scrappy is your fighting when that's the result of a move?!

Fellow spectator

Hold me back!


Judy found the other fighter's glasses on the ground, so like any good samaritan, she gave them back to him.


This is what Andrew fears Judy's subway sleeping will escalate to...

A familiar sight