Hands down, the best thing about being an ESL teacher is being privy to the weird shit that comes out of your students' mouths. Sometimes it's because they don't understand the question, sometimes their translator is to blame, and sometimes they're just not quite sure how to say what they want. Regardless of the reason, they will look you in the eye and say the strangest things with a straight face!
Here are some of the better quotes from Andrew's winter English camp this year:
(Please keep in mind that all these come from 17 and 18 year-old boys!)
Juwon
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and
why? A tiger because it is nice.
What is something you’re afraid of? A devilish man.
Taewon
What 5 adjectives describe you best? Optical illusion.
What is something you’re afraid of? I’m afraid of fear.
Soonhyun
Can you play a musical instrument? I can toot the flute.
What makes you special?
My smart brain makes me special.
What is your greatest strength? Breathing exercises.
What is something that pisses you off? Lipstick.
What is something you’re afraid of? I am afraid of bugs.
Joy
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and
why? I would be a white tiger because
white tigers are very cool. I am handsome.
What is something that pisses you off? Spelling 'gag.'
Daniel
What is your favorite color? White gold
What makes you special?
My fantastic sports ability.
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and
why? A cat, because I look like a cat.
If you were sentenced to death, what would you choose as your
last meal? I would choose every part of
cow and coke.
Changjoo
What is your greatest strength? My big smile.
What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My collarbone.
Hokyeong
Describe your best friend:
He is so cute and he looks like a cat, but his mouth is very cheap, like
a gossip girl. And he isn’t a slob
because he is diligent. Only, in my
opinion, he is so gorgeous man in the world.
Except for gossip.
What 5 adjectives best describe you? 1-foolish 2-sexy
3-charming 4-cutey 5-face
What is your greatest strength? Eyesight
What are your 5 favorite smells? 1-food
2-Fabreeze 3-eating water
hippopotamus* 4-a sand lance* 5-females
If you were sentenced to death, what would you choose as
your last meal? My girlfriend.
What is something that pisses you off? Everything.
*No clue what he was even trying to say in numbers 3 and 4!
David
What makes you special?
Money
What 5 adjectives best describe you? Smile, Smart, Effort, Happy, Tuna
Hyunwoo
What makes you special?
My abilities.
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and
why? I would be a hedgehog because
people don’t eat it.
What is the first thing you think about when you wake
up? I think about going to the
toilet.
Hyunjun
What is your greatest strength? I protect the president.
Inwoo
What makes you special?
Guitars make me special.
Jiho
What 5 adjectives describe you best? Short, Fat, Angry, Dirty, Kind
What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I will die.
If you were sentenced to death, what would you choose as
your last meal? If I was sentenced to
death I would kill you.
Donghee
Do you have a nickname?
My nickname is HDH.
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and
why? A pig because I like eating.
What is your greatest strength? Snow sleds
When you were little, what did you want to be when your grew
up? A carrot.
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